Bananas

Bananas

Coming Soon: Fun Facts... i ll get around to it. I have em coming out wazoo

Bananas: Fuck you rocky

So here's the deal. Some half-wit left a comment on my last entry comlaining about my spellage of the word "genious." Ill spell it like my 3rd grade teacher taught me. Damn you Rocky. Damn you to hell.



And for the record.. I will furthermore be spelling GENIOUS like it should have been spelled from the begining. HA

Thinking Ahead

Well,the wait is over. Ive made up my mind. Emmet and I are to have a child and it will be named Ebony Taylor. Isnt that beautiful? Damn, i wish my parents were as cool as i am, maybe then i wouldnt have some dumb, half-ass name like Jamie Lynn. Alright, you got me. So i like it. But that doesnt make them cool parents by a long shot.
Here's the only dilema: what if she's albino? Then we'd be in a pickle. Worse yet, what if we didnt find out until she got older? She'd be harassed out of her mind. An albino child named Ebony. But wait- I HAVE THE ANSWER! By the time I have a kid itll be like.. what? 2020 something. So theyll definetly have all that DNA altering data all sorted out. Ill just twist a few knobs and turn a few gears and voila! Brilliant brunette on a tray! Im such a genious.

Its a beautiful World we live in

Bananas

now everyone is pleased

Yes thats right. Its me... and im back. I can just feel the vibrations of your jovial little clapping hands. I have in fact succeeded in the tedious mission of painting my toenails. And dont you worry: my expertise in this area of study has advanced to become proffesionalized over the ages. They are blue.. but the real magic is in the sparkles. Thats the actual kicker, the sparkles, that is.
So i went to the dance last night and let me just make it known outright that it was perhaps the single most gayest hour and a half of my life. My god. The whole day in itself was rather a dissapointment, from the anticipation i had known beforehand.
I awoke sometime around 11:00 (with which i was pleased for the most part, as i had originally expected to sleep the day away),and then i got out of bed and painted for a session of time. Next i went downstairs and rewarded myself with a nice full bowl of cereal. By this time it was around 3:57, and Emmet Bradworthy from the society decided to give me a ring. It was with him i would be attending the dance that night.He informed me that we would be going over to Charles Henry's house as soon as he and April O'Leary returned from some Hockey Game.He told me he'd call when the time was ripe. I said "sublime" and hung up.
I took my time getting ready.
I took a shower and blow dried my hair. I mulled over whether or not i should put it up or do something to it. After all, it was sort of a big event, and sometimes a little change is fun. But then i realized: i didnt want to deal with it, and besides.. who's kidding who around here? My job is to be bitchy, not fun.
I stayed in my pajamas until 6:45 when Emmet rang and asked if i was ready. I assured him i was, and then hung up and hurried about fulfilling my promise. I threw my dress and other miscellanious items into a backpack, threw on some ordinary clothes, glanced in the mirror (sufficient), and then sprang out the door.
When i arrived at Charles Henry's, April and Emmet were already there.They were indulging in a splendid feast of poptarts and popcorn, which i of course took part in first off. Then we went down to the basement to watch a movie, "Saun of the Dead." Emmet and I sat on the chair, while April and Charles took the Sofa. The movie was ridiculous, but naturally, i still jumped at all the most predictable places. Emmet thankfully was there to cradle and caress my hand and keep me from harm (of which there was none).
Then it was time to get ready for the dance. Charles and Emmet took April and I to April's house where we would prepare ourselves. They went back to Charles' to get ready and told us to call when we were ready.
April is a really nice girl, and we bonded for a time in the rush of belated preparation. I noticed a poem on the wall of her bedroom from Charles, and was touched by it, then simultaneously struck with envy and made a note of it to inform Emmet that he sucked (which i did).
When we were ready, we called Charles' house. The boys picked us up and we were off. We arrived at the dance an hour and a half late, but soon found we hadnt missed much. Emmet and i danced for a while, but neither of us really got into it much. The music was dreadful. As far as i could tell they only played a single slow song all night and it was some ridiculous samba/polka-ish something or other. It was nice just to be with Emmet, and i think we were grateful to have someone we cared for, that made sense to us there, because everything else was just entirely off-kilter. Slutty, raving, freshmen were gyrating all over the arena, and cocky upperclassmen were pretty much just getting off on it. The whole process completely turned me off, and i was glad to have Emmet there to understand and cast looks of disguist at.
We left early and the drive home was probably the best part of the night. Emmet and I talked about the night. He had been feeling under the weather all day, and the dance hadn't inmproved his condition any. He didnt want to kiss me because he was afraid id get sick. I honestly didnt care as long as it was from him, and besides i assured him i wouldnt get sick anyhow. Before i left we shared a quick, careful, embrace and, of course , i awoke at 4:13 in the morning with a sinus infection.

More Adventures in Wordland

Melifluous-a-"meliffloous"- sounding sweet or smooth
pathetic fallacy-n-"pathetick falla.C"- the atribution of human feelings and charactersitics to inanimate things
(ex: the pissed off tree)
pentagogue-n-"pentagog"-teacher
asinine-v-ass.in.9- like or of an ass. stupid, silly
aureole-n- kinda like "oreo" but not- a halo, a corona around the sun
auspice- n-"uspiss"-an omen' usually fovorable omen
avuncular-a-"of unck Q lar"- of or like an uncle
awol or AWOL-v-"a wall"- Absent With Out Leave
azure-v-"as your"- blue, sky blue, or any other similar blue color
retrospect-n-"retro speck t"-contemplation of the past
rhetoric-n-" ret or ick" art of using words effectively
systole-n- "sis toe lee"- to the regular rythmic beating or contraction of the heart

Conjecular

Hey bitches. So glad you decided to tune in for Jamie Hour. Its about damn time. I dont think you realize just how much effort goes into one of these blogs, as they are called in the old country. Each word is hand selected to produce only the finest in lexaconic structure. And a lexacon is like.. your personal vocabulary. The words you use. You were dying to ask, but you didnt want to, because you didnt want to sound stupid. I know how it goes. I read your little minds.. yes, even the fine print is filtered through my massive, conjecular brain. Alright, so i made that one up. Nuts. Time to go. In the words of my 11 year old sister, "Smell ya later."

Gherkins

Another day.. another useless amount of time spent writting nonsense absurdities to no one inparticular. God bless America. So, heres the thing: my hands smell like fish. "Well," you might be thinking.."That makes perfectly perfect sense because you just ATE FISH." Dont be so sure, my friend. Dont be so sure. This mysterious occurence is velied with mystery and perplexity...*Fog begins to filter slowly into room through crack between door and floor* You see..*fold hands. raises eyebrows* I/ my hands have lacked any physical or tangible contact with any sort of fish-born species for many a day. Why then do i detect the foul odor of such an animal? Well, i dont know about you, but my celebral cortex is lacking the ambition to solutize this dilema.So we'll move on...
Umm...i highly recommend the site www.hammario.tk to anyone who reads this. Friend of mine.Video games and the like. good kid.
http://www.hammario.tk
so yeah. click right there, if you feel so entitled.

Alright, well you have a good time. Be sure to check in again soon. And leave me a goddamn comment for the love of pete, so i can be getting some sort of input from all this treacherous work. Thanks shug. -j.l.